Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Proclein Throne...

black cuff link  

Week 7: Cuff Link

Average size: 0.51 inchesWow! Baby is two times the size he was last week.

This is the baby size acording to dads! I think this is hilarious!!! Much more accurate I think.

The past week has been a rough one. The "morning" sickness everyone refers to is with me morning, noon, and night. In fact it NEVER goes away! The sight, smell, or taste of something will send me over the edge. Sometimes it is unbearable.

I laughed at myself yesterday as I was throwing my guts up (not normal I understand), but everytime I had a breath between gagging and throwing up I would pray! It was something like this.... bleh...precious Lord...bleh....thank you..bleh...for this...bleh...baby...bleh...please...bleh...help me...bleh...give me....bleh...strength....

I really am thankful for this pregnancy, and I believe that God believes I have the strenth to endure this. My mother would always tell my brother growing up "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it." I never quite understood that statement until now. I don't think people who haven't had children (and I don't mean just bearing them in your womb) can understand what it takes to be a parent. Lord, this child isn't even here yet and it is controlling my life. He/she tells me what it does and doesn't want to eat, when to sleep, when to be awake, etc...The things I will endure as a mother are sometimes overwhelming...

I also fully believe that you do not have a carry a child for 9 months to feel this. I have family, and friends whom God has chosen to care for those babies that others didn't want, or couldn't take care of. I think that being a "mother" means a lot more than enduring these 9 months.

I am thankful...I cannot stress that enough. God has been so good. I try to remember that when I don't feel good, when I'm tired or scared, that Jesus endures this with me. That not only do I have a husband who supports me and loves this baby, but I have a Heavenly Father who is always with me.

I have been staring at the porcelien throne for a few days now (you know...the toliet!)...and I will enjoy every minute of it. Because I know God has a special plan for this baby, big plans, that I am blessed to be only a small part of.

If I could talk to baby Watts today this is what I would say...

Good morning sweet baby! We finally agreed on mashed potatos and a little chicken last night. Wasn't it GREAT! Thank you for letting mommy eat that. I prayed about your future today, I want so many great things for you. God told me about you a long time ago...and though I don't know if your going to be a little me or a little daddy, I know you are going to be amazing. Daddy and I love you so much, and you aren't even here yet! I hope you will always know that. You are the light of our life, a constant reminder of the promises of God, a source of insparation, and a bond that is unexplainable. Baby Watts, grow big and strong. I will do everything in my power to give you all the nutrients you need so you can do that! I cannot wait to meet you! 

Love you always,

Mom
3/20/2012


Hopefully one day, our sweet baby will get to read this, and know how much we loved him/her even before they met this world!

Until then...the porclein throne is calling....

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Waiting for November...

Yesterday, March 13, 2012 was quite possibly one of the greatest days of my life. I got to see my baby for the first time. That feeling has no words to describe it. Though it was only a tiny dot, the size of a blueberry maybe, it had a heart beat. A good one...strong. THAT means, that "thing" growing inside my belly is alive. It is part me, and part by husband.

I could not take my eyes off the monitor. The technician couldn't find anything at first, and I panicked, but then there it was...


You know, I don't understand how people can consciously say there isn't a God. Being pregnant has really made me think about this...

2 things, from separate bodies, a sperm and an egg meet. And it starts this radically growing every changing organism that forms a brain, heart, liver, kidney, bones, legs, arms, etc... It has a heartbeat before anything...and that to me is miraculous!

This made it all seem so real...that there really is a little baby growing inside me. It will continue to grow, and one day be ready for the world, and it will depend on me and Chris to take care of it. Not just the normal stuff, but provide food, shelter, love, stability, guidance, advice, and opportunities. This child's life will soley depend on us...and that is a humbling thought.

I am so blessed that God trusts in my enough to carry this baby. For the moment it was conceived, it was not ours but Gods, and we will spend the rest of our lives trying to show him or her that. I am sure every parent says this, but there is no baby in the world that will be loved more than this one.

My due date is now November 5th. I suppose I'm partial to November, since that is my birthday month, and I most certainly wouldn't mind sharing it with my child. November 6th also happens to be my grandfathers birthday, and he said he would just be tickled if it waited for that day to enter the world.

Now the waiting begins...waiting for the next appointment, waiting for the next ultrasound, waiting to find out if it is a girl or boy, waiting for the day he/she will come into this world, waiting to be a parent...

Waiting for November...